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You’re Going to Need a Better Script: Eight of the Best, and Worst, Jaws Ripoffs

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In a summer where Barbie and Oppenheimer – or Barbenheimer – have changed box office rules, it’s a good time to remind ourselves that Jaws was the first true summer blockbuster. Not surprisingly, countless imitators tried to cash in on Steven Spielberg’s game-changing formula. Several of these imitators, however, were particularly shameless in their ‘borrowing’. Whether it was killer sharks, piranha, alligators, or grizzlies, the years following Jaws saw several eco-horror movies about a local hero joined by some animal expert and crusty hunter fighting killer animals and unethical mayors or businessmen. Below we remind you of eight of the best – and worst – Jaws ripoffs from the 70s, 80s, and 90s.

Mako: The Jaws of Death (1976)

Though Mako: The Jaws of Death is the first movie on this list, it has very little in common with Jaws aside from sharks and the word ‘jaws’ in its title. Veteran character actor Richard Jaeckel plays an oddball recluse who shares a psychic connection with Mako sharks. When corrupt forces threaten his marine ‘friends’, Jaeckel’s ‘Sonny’ uses the sharks to exact a brutal revenge. Somewhere in this weird 70s eco-horror flick is a backstory feature a Filipino shaman and a magical amulet that protects the wearer against shark attacks. Aside from a decent score, everything else about Mako: The Jaws of Death is just plain bad. Only bad movie lovers will find anything to appreciate about this one.

Grizzly (1976)

Though it’s a landlocked rip-off, Grizzly very much remains a Jaws knock-off. In fact, if it weren’t for the switching out of a grizzly bear for a Great White Shark, Universal’s lawyers may have come a knocking. Nearly all of the familiar plot devices from jaws are present here. A park ranger teams with military veteran helicopter pilot and naturalist to track down and stop an unusually large grizzly that’s feasting on locals and tourists. Yes, a corrupt park supervisor initially refuses to close the national park. And the park ranger uses an implausible means to finally kill the rogue animal. That’s where the similarities end. Unlike Jaws, the special effects in this eco-horror retread are amateurish and laughable. Only lovers of bad movies will enjoy this one.

Orca (1977)

On the surface, Orca looks like a straightforward ripoff of Jaws. To some extent, it is a knockoff where a mammal (no, not a fish) terrorizes a small coastal village. Richard Harris plays a crusty fishermen joined by cetologist Charlotte Rampling and Will Sampson’s Mi’kmaq local on a distant ocean quest to stop the killer mammal. But the Dino De Laurentis-produced eco-horror flick diverges in a number of ways. Chief among them, Orca boasts an odd revenge narrative that has to be seen to be believed. And its tone very much reflect its American, Canadian, and Italian production background. Unlike most of the movies on this list, Orca also makes for a rather decent viewing experience.

Tentacles (1977)

No, Tentacles isn’t the worst Jaws ripoff on this list. Nonetheless, this Italian-American produced eco-horror thriller is the most guilty given its relative riches of talent. While some eco-horror Jaws rip-offs – like Grizzly or Orca – managed enough cheese to be sort of fun in a bad way, Tentacles is a brainless, tedious B-movie. Good actors recite terrible dialogue, while bad actors have their dialogue poorly dubbed. Occasionally good ocean footage of real octopi gives way to some poor effects. Yet it’s greatest offences are a plodding pace paired with a tendency to take itself too seriously. Only the most diehard fans of 70s horror will find something to like about this one.

Piranha (1978)

While a number of Jaws-influenced movies hit theatres in the years following its release, Joe Dante’s Piranha works because it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Produced by legendary B-film auteur, Roger Corman, Piranha positions itself as more of a parody than outright horror. From its opening scene where two teens sneak into an abandoned military complex for late-evening skinny dip, you can see the open winks and nods to the famous opening in Jaws. Dante, who would later perfect his in-joke referencing with The Howling, litters Piranha with self-referential jokes for the keen observer. Moreover, the blood and gore effects are also well above average for a low budget 70s flick. For fans of cult movies, this is a fun B-movie that’s in on its own joke from start to finish.

Alligator (1980)

Writer John Sayles is no stranger to satirizing horror movies. Just two years prior to Alligator, it was Sayles collaborated with Joe Dante on Piranha. He’d work with Dante again on the werewolf classic, The Howling. Like Piranha, Alligator mirrors the basic nature-strikes-back narrative popularized by Jaws and recycled by any number of eco-horror movies. If you’re going to make a movie about giant killer animals, this is how you do it. Rather than simply recycling Jaws, Teague and Sayles subtly poke fun at the box office juggernaut’s countless imitators. It helps that Alligator rarely slows down, boasts plenty of reptilian action alongside some fun gore. Over 40 years later, the effects still hold up well enough. And the performances are committed but fun – everyone knows what they signed signed up for in Alligator. What the movie ultimately delivers is B-movie fun well worth watching.

The Last Shark (1981)

Of all the Jaws ripoff’s on this list, The Last Shark is probably the worst offender. Also known as Great White, this Italian horror movie eventually lost its North American release once Universal Studios caught wind of it. This isn’t similar to the Spielberg classic – it is the same story that’s just rushed and clumsily executed. And the special effects are anything but special. Some shark scenes look like they actually use a dolphin, while other scenes just a use a fin … or nothing. Of course, when the prop shark head awkwardly emerges now and then from the water, you’ll know why The Last Shark rarely shows its shark. But the best is when director Enzo G. Castellari has boasts (with mannequins on board) shoot up out of the water for shark attacks. This is just pure cheese.

Cruel Jaws (1995)

How bad is Cruel Jaws? It actually uses some footage from The Last Shark – that’s how bad. Another Italian horror movie, this straight-to-video dud also uses footage from all four movies in the Jaws series. All the story tropes you’d expect from a bad Jaws ripoff are present. A local beach jammed with tourists and an upcoming regatta. Locals banding together. An unscrupulous mayor. A larger than normal shark. It’s all here and done poorly. Maybe the most egregious moment, however, comes when one character exclaims, “We’re gonna need a bigger helicopter”. If Cruel Jaws wasn’t so inept, you might be offended by its shameless ripping off of Jaws.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do: Eight Break-Up Horror Movies For This Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day is almost here. Though it’s technically a ‘holiday’, no one gets a day off and just a month and a half removed from Christmas, we’re forced to spend more money. So even if you’re in a relationship, there’s no guarantee you’ll be happy with the holiday. And for those going through a break-up, Valentine’s Day is agony. Fortunately, if you’re not a fan of rom-com’s, the horror genre understands your pain. Plenty of horror movies revolve around tough break-ups. From David Cronenberg’s The Brood to Midsommar, this edition of The Chopping Block takes a look back at eight examples of break-up horror movies just in time for Valentine’s Day.

The Brood (1979)

Divorce can be an ugly thing. Some couples would rather set the world on fire than watch their ex walk away with anything that feels like a win. Enter a young David Cronenberg fresh off a handful of indie body horror successes, Shivers and Rabid. Oh, and Cronenberg had also just gone through his own divorce. What he offered audiences was The Brood – a gonzo tale of Hal Raglan, a man investigating the controversial Somafree Institute of Psychoplasmics where his estranged wife is institutionalized. Amidst their bitter custody battle, Hal discovers a series of murders connected to the Institute. Did I mention that the murderers are the deformed offspring of wife, Nora, birthed from her deep-seated rage and trauma? Not surprisingly, The Brood is grotesque, uncomfortable, and compelling. At the very least, The Brood will make you feel better about your own break up.

Possession (1981)

Beware casual horror fans – Possession earns every bit of the ‘cult’ in its cult status reputation. Andrzej Żuławski’s story of the dissolution of a West Berlin spy’s marriage is a gonzo arthouse horror movie beyond description. Thematically complex and narratively opaque, Żuławski crafts a surrealist nightmare that is more of an experience than engaging with a traditional story. On one hand, it’s the kind of movie made for critics or film studies majors. Yet there’s no denying the visceral nature of the onscreen imagery that’s more disturbing than much of what you’d find in contemporary horror. Like Roman Polanski’s Repulsion or David Cronenberg’s Naked Lunch, Possession is nightmarish movie that sears itself onto your brain – watching it is unforgettable. You just likely won’t have a clue what you just watched.

Fatal Attraction (1987)

When it was released in the late 80s, people coined Fatal Attraction the psychological thriller that scared husbands into fidelity. Not only was this stalker flick a global box office sensation, Fatal Attraction earned several Oscar nominations, including one for Glenn Close’s memorable turn as the dangerously obsessed ‘other woman’. Plenty of stalking thrillers have copied this blueprint to much lesser results. Some critics have rightly pointed out that there’s something a bit sexist about the ease by which the successful business woman Alex Forrest turns into a ‘mad woman’. But there’s no denying that Fatal Attraction is a supremely effective suspense movie with a fantastic final jump. And if you own a pet rabbit, you may want to make sure it’s safe in its cage before watching this one.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Now here’s how you mix horror and comedy into some fun and compelling. After slacker man-child Shaun’s girlfriend dumps him, all he wants to do is have a pint with his mate, Ed, at the Winchester. And then a zombie apocalypse really throws a wrench into Shaun’s day. Today, writer and director Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Last Night in Soho) is rightly regarded as a master of his craft. And Shaun of the Dead isn’t just a great zombie comedy – it stands as one of the best horror movies in the last 20 years. Wright effortlessly blends laughs, zombie carnage, and genuine heartfelt emotions into a movie that can be watched over and over again. Some Oscar bait movies struggle to capture a fraction of the feelings you’ll have for Wright’s characters. By its finale, Shaun of the Dead will have you rooting for Shaun to win back Liz.

Hatchet (2006)

Splat pack member Adam Green’s second major feature, Hatchet, boldly claimed it was a return to ‘old-fashioned American horror’. Imagine a late 80s Friday the 13th sequel dialed up to an ’11 out of 10′ on the gore scale and that’s Hatchet. Still reeling from breakup, Joel David Moore’s (Grace: The Possession) college student Ben decides to skip on Mardi Gras parties for a haunted swamp tour. Not surprisingly, it’s a bad idea for Ben – but a great choice for gorehounds. Simply put, Hatchet is a wild homage to the excesses of the 80s slasher. Horror fave Kane Hodder (Jason Goes to Hell, Death House) stars as the massive Victor Crowley alongside some insane practical gore effects. Two decent sequels rounded out the story followed by an ill-conceived, belated sequel.

The Strangers (2008)

On its initial release, critics weren’t overly receptive to The Strangers. But audiences didn’t much care and drove this creepy home invasion thriller to cult status, earning a belated sequel in the process. Regardless of its critical reception Bryan Bertino’s thriller benefits from a simple concept executed to near perfection. An engagement gone wrong coupled with an isolated locale and creepy antagonists, The Strangers delivers edge-of-your-seat suspense and a bleak ending that lingers with you long after the final credits. Both Scott Speedman (Underworld) and Liv Tyler are excellent in their respective roles. Throw in a trio of genuinely unnerving villains and the line, ‘Because you were home’, should send chills down your spine.

Burying the Ex (2014)

Joe Dante has some good movies over the course of his career – The Howling, Gremlins, Piranha. Too bad Burying the Ex isn’t one of those movies. There’s a lot of talent behind this story of a meek man whose manipulative, controlling, and now dead girlfriend returns from the grave to spoil his new relationship. Anton Yelchin (Green Room, Fright Night), Ashley Greene (Twilight series), and Alexandra Daddario (We Summon the Darkness, Texas Chainsaw) all bring a bit of charm to the proceedings. But Burying the Ex is neither funny nor scary. Outside of a few sparse moments, this horror-comedy mostly plays out as tedious. Somewhere in this effort Dante has a clever premise about how tough it is to get out of a toxic relationship. As it stands, however, you’d be better off just dumping Burying the Ex.

Midsommar (2019)

Is there a better horror movie dealing with break-ups than Midsommar? Not likely. Following up on his debut classic, Hereditary, Ari Aster showed no signs of a sophomore slump. Following the tragic death of her family, Dani tags along with her boyfriend Christian and his friends on a trip to a Swedish commune. Hester’s story of a bizarre cult juxtaposed with a slowly fracturing relationship is the ultimate in slow-burn, elevated horror. Aster’s approach to genre conventions are so restrained – almost muted – that it actually adds to their shock-value. And Florence Pugh’s performance Oscar-worthy performance has you absolutely identifying with her gaslit Dani. When Christian gets stuffed into that bear carcass you can’t help but silently cheer a bit.

Return to Sender: Re-Gift These Presents From 7 Horror Movies

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As Christmas ends and Boxing Day chaos follows, you may wake up looking at what you got from office gift exchanges and extended friend and family Secret Santa’s. If you’re lucky, your Secret Santa got you a Starbucks gift card. More often than not, you probably ended up with something completely random that fit under the agreed-upon price cap. And the 2021 supply shortage means you could end up with some real oddities. But it could always be worse. Just ask the characters in the horror movies listed below. For this Christmas edition of The Chopping Block, we look at seven movies where characters should have considered re-gifting.

Trilogy of Terror (1975)

In the heyday of 1970s and 1980s made-for-television horror movie, Trilogy of Terror immediately set itself apart. Today, it’s actually built up a bit of a cult following. Originally an ABC Movie of the Night, Trilogy of Terror was a horror anthology that saw Karen Black (Burnt Offerings, House of 1000 Corpses) play multiple roles in three segments. Each of the segments was based on Richard Matheson short stories. Like most anthology horror movies, this one’s an uneven affair. But the strength of its final segment, Amelia, and a certain wooden Zuni fetish doll was enough to give a lot of viewers nightmares. Despite obvious budgetary limitations, the segment makes good use of its claustrophobic high-rise apartment setting.

Gremlins (1984)

Gremlins is classic horror-comedy and, yes, Christmas movie. Seemingly a family-friend movie, Gremlins was probably a bit too dark and violent for the munchkins. And this Joe Dante-helmed movie starts a familiar trend on this list – hapless dads bribing their kids with dubious gifts. Mogwai’s are great – the 80s probably saw a wave of pets named Gizmo. But let’s face it, they come with too many rules for kids. Not surprisingly, Zach Galligan breaks the rules. Subsequently, chaos ensues. Just about everything about this movie is dark and fun. Stripes is a classic horror movie villain. Just about everything about this movie is dark fun. The kitchen and shopping mall scenes are highlights. By the way, Gremlins 2: The New Batch is an underrated sequel.

Child’s Play (1988)

Give poor Karen Barclay a break. The Good Guy dolls – most likely based on the wildly popular Cabbage Patch Kids – were all the rage. How was she supposed to know that her Good Guy, Chucky, was possessed by the spirit of a dead serial killer? Can you even return merchandise after that happens? When Child’s Play hit theaters in 1988, the slasher was past its prime. Yet in spite of its time – and hackneyed concept – Don Mancini’s creation became a hit with horror fans. Today, Chucky is a slasher icon and the Child’s Play franchise may one of the more interesting trajectories among horror series.

Thir13een Ghosts (2001)

Thir13en Ghosts is one of those movies that polarizes critics and audiences. Not surprisingly, critics ripped it apart, but the William Castle remake won over a lot of fans. Technically, Thir13en Ghosts isn’t a good movie. Nothing after re-watching it nearly 20 years later suggests that it’s acquired some new charm. But never discount the power of nostalgia. Eighties horror fans have a laundry list of of B-movies that have little appeal outside our generation. And if you grew up in the late 90’s and early 2000’s, Thir13een Ghosts likely has a similar nostalgic appeal. Maybe it’s the amazing ghost make-up effects. Or perhaps the goodwill from Matthew Lillard’s Scream role still counts. Maybe Thir13en Ghosts is, at the very least, a watchable horror movie, but it’s also a warning to not accept gifts from weird deceased relatives you never met.

The Possession (2010)

So what do you do if you’re going through tough divorce that’s hard on your kids? Buy them a possessed Dybbuk box from a local garage sale, of course. Ghost House Pictures has released some great movies over the last few years including Nightbooks, Don’t Breathe, and the Evil Dead remake. But in its early days, Sam Raimi’s production studio struggled to release an actually scary horror movie. And The Possession counts amongst the studio’s early misses. Despite a few decent moments here and there, The Possession recycles so many horror clichés that it more closely approximates a highlight reel than standalone movie.

The Gift (2015)

Pro Tip – If an old high school classmate you picked on shows up on your doorstep with a gift, don’t accept it. In addition to starring in The Gift, Joel Edgerton wrote and directed this chilling psychological chiller. Though Egerton’s ‘Gordo’ is clearly disturbed, The Gift still manages to have you guessing right up to its gut punch of an ending. Just two years shy of his critically successful run on Ozark, Jason Bateman warms up here playing a similarly smarmy character. And the underrated Rebecca Hall (The Night House, Godzilla vs Kong) is once again excellent in a grueling role. Just remember, if someone offers you to ‘let bygones be bygones’, take them up on it.

Wish Upon (2017)

Another take on Richard Matheson’s Monkey’s Paw. Yet another absent dad gifting their child something horrible to win back their love with predictably bad results. Bottom-line, Wish Upon is a completely forgettable PG-13 teen horror movie. In spite of a talented cast and good production values, this insipid PG-13 movie forgot to be, you know, actually scary. That is to say that everything about Wish Upon is perfectly fine for a high school sleepover party. Everyone else will probably just wish they were watching something else. Here’s a fun fact. Director John R. Leonetti’s previous directorial credits include Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, The Butterfly Effect 2, Annabelle, and Wolves at the Door.

Hungry Like The Wolf: The Five Best Werewolf Movies

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Recently, Universal Studios announced another Wolfman remake starring Ryan Gosling. After the failures of the last remake and The Mummy, however, Universal’s announcement wouldn’t normally inspire excitement. Then along came the recent The Invisible Man remake and suddenly a remake of The Wolf Man has potential. Either way, now feels like as good a time as any to list some of the best werewolf movies currently available. Despite recent periods of mainstream success for vampires and zombies, the werewolf hasn’t enjoyed the same resurgence. Maybe Ryan Gosling’s star power can push the legendary horror villain back into the limelight … or moonlight. If you’re look for a primer on werewolves, below is a list of the five best werewolf movies of all time.

5 – Dog Soldiers (2002)

British director Neil Marshall’s The Descent is one of the best horror movies made this century. Too bad his Hellboy reboot bombed – it’s not great, but certainly had some inspired moments. And Doomsday was at least half of a great homage to post-apocalyptic thrillers. For his directorial debut, Marshall gave us British soldiers battling werewolves in the Scottish highlands. Yes, it’s as awesome as it sounds. With a fantastic cast of British character actors and impressive werewolf effects, Dog Soldiers feels like a spiritual descendant of Aliens. There’s an apt balance of action, horror, and humour across the movie’s trim runtime along with a few decent surprises. Trust me, the cover art for some of the DVD and Blu-ray releases don’t do Dog Soldiers justice. Marshall’s executions far removes his movie from any expected B-movie cheesiness.

4 – Ginger Snaps (2000)

This Canadian horror export completely subverted werewolf tropes. What director John Fawcett gave us was an atmospheric, quirky, feminist horror movie. That it, Ginger Snaps spins the werewolf mythology as a story of sexual awakening for its awkward outcast title character, Ginger. Given its lower budget, Fawcett wisely elects to keep his werewolf in the shadows. However, there’s no shortage of werewolf blood and guts for horror fans. Yet it’s the relationship between sisters Ginger and Emily – played by Katharine Isabelle (The Order, American Mary) and Emily Perkins, respectively – that makes this one stand out. Everything about the movie is enveloped in an affecting sadness. By the conclusion, you’ve invested in the sisters’ relationship and struggle. A very good sequel followed Ginger Snaps.

3 – The Wolf Man (1941)

Yes, I recognize I may catch flak for putting The Wolf Man at only Number 3 on this list. It wasn’t the first werewolf movie, but Universal’s 1941 classic put the werewolf on the map. For approximately four decades, Jack Pierce’s make-up effects lingered in public consciousness as the image of the werewolf. To date, horror icon Lon Chaney Jr remains the performer most strongly associated with the role. And The Wolf Man’s gorgeous black and white cinematography and Gothic imagery still makes for required Halloween viewing. Nonetheless, nearly 80 years after its release, some elements of the movie feel dated. Though it’s still an atmospheric viewing experience, it’s likely not a chilling movie for contemporary audiences. It’s legacy is secured, but it’s not the best werewolf today.

2 – The Howling (1981)

If the turn of this century saw zombies and vampires spark renewed public interest, the early 1980’s was werewolf crazy. Even Michael J Fox got in on the act in Teen Wolf – which isn’t on this list. Sitting at Number 2, Joe Dante’s The Howling was a perfect homage to cinematic werewolf lore. Yet in spite of its fun references to classic werewolf movies, The Howling carved out its own identity. Screenwriters John Sayles (Piranha) and Terence H Winkless’ story of a traumatized news anchor seeking treatment at the remote ‘New Age’ “Colony” packs in a lot of subtle, dark humour. But don’t worry, Dante weaves this dark humour with genuine werewolf horror. As for the werewolf effects, Rob Bottin’s (Humanoids from the Deep, The Thing) work here has only one equal.

1 – An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Nearly 40 years after its release, An American Werewolf in London is still the definitive werewolf movie. Like The Howling, An American Werewolf in London is both funny and genuinely scary. Some of the humour is a little less subtle. But that’s not a bad thing. And the nightmare scenes pack some of the best jump scares you’ll find in a horror movie. Some of what Landis gets into these scenes is wonderfully eccentric. Regardless of all the advances in CGI technology, Rick Baker’s werewolf transformation effects here are still the benchmark. Nothing else, aside from The Howling, comes close. The werewolf transformation is an absolute spectacle. Besides its fantastic direction and effect, An American Werewolf in London also comes with a groovy retro soundtrack.

Nightmare Cinema: Gory and Ghastly Fun Horror Anthology

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Is the horror anthology making a comeback? British studio Amicus Productions rivalled Hammer Films in the 60’s and 70’s with their anthology movies. Creepshow was an 80’s classic. Over the last several years, The ABCs of Death, the V/H/S series, and Holidays have been fun additions to the genre. And just last year, Ghost Stories turned out to be one the better horror entries. Now Nightmare Cinema is finally hitting VOD platforms after debuting last fall. Critics seems to love it, but does it live up to expectations?

Synopsis

Over the course of one night, several strangers find themselves in an abandoned movie theater. Their host, The Projectionist, screens a personalized movie for each patron from his personal library. Across five different stories, The Projectionist confronts his guests with their worst fears.

Nightmare Cinema Delivers Gore With a Sense of Humour

When it’s at its best, Nightmare Cinema is gory, inventive, and fun. Its opening segment, The Thing in the Woods, subverts slasher movie expectations with a clever twist. We’ve seen so much meta-commentary and riffing on the subgenre. One has to be impressed that director Alejandro Brugués found some new life with the narrative. Though it’s gory, Brugués strikes a playful tone with the material. Not surprisingly, Joe Dante (The Howling) serves up another strong, David Lynch-inspire segment, Mirare. This plastic surgery-fueled nightmare oozes with Dante’s dark humour and some grotesque imagery.

…Slade creates a visually grim, surrealist nightmare.

Yet David Slade (30 Days of Night) delivers Nightmare Cinema’s best segment. Entitled This Way To Egress and starring Elizabeth Reaser (The Haunting of Hill House), Slade creates a visually grim, surrealist nightmare. It’s an ambiguous segment filled haunting imagery. Moreover, ‘tis is the only segment that abandons Nightmare Cinema’s darker sense of humour. This is the kin of horror that gets under your skin, leaving you feeling unnerved long after its over.

Buckets of Blood for Gore Fans

Nightmare Cinema is an independent horror movie and nowhere is this more evident than in its gore and violence. None of the directors hold back. The Thing in the Woods warms things up with one of the most inventive uses of a blowtorch in horror movie history. No one can say Brugués doesn’t have a sense of humour. Another scene in his segment involving multiple knives will likely prompt some well-earned laughs. Heads split open in Dead along with a finale that shouts out to the Maniac remake. And the third segment, Mashit, spares no one with a blood-soaked finale.

Nightmare Cinema Suffers A Little From Unevenness

Like most horror anthology movies, Nightmare Cinema suffers from some unevenness across its segments. Director Ryuhei Kitamura’s (Downrange, Midnight Meat Train) segment, Mashit, is tonally uneven. That is Kitamura struggles to find a balance between atmospheric horror and Nightmare Cinema’s more overall playful tone. Mashit’s wild and bloody church brawl is a highlight, but feels at odds with the segment’s earlier established tone. The segment feels too similar to the dozens of possession-themed horror movies. But Kitamura pulls no punches with the gore, child actors or not, making some of the derivative story elements forgivable.

…Mick Garris’ final segment, Dead, is a clunker.

Unfortunately, Mick Garris’ final segment, Dead, is a clunker. What starts with a lot of promise quickly devolves into a Sixth Sense redux. There’s more fun with the blood and gore, but it’s still too similar in its basic premise to M. Night Shyamalan’s 1999 classic. Moreover, Garris mismatches the tone with some schmaltzy bits towards the segment’s end. Aside from these segments, Nightmare Cinema doesn’t do enough with its wrap-around story connecting everything. Mickey Rourke’s ‘Projectionist’ fills a similar role as ‘The Crypt Keeper’ in Amicus classic, Tales from the Crypt. Certainly, it’s a similar idea. But Rourke was either given little with which to work or he phoned it in. Regardless, The Projectionist’s segments don’t add much to what’s an otherwise fun horror movie.

The Indie Horror We’ve Been Waiting For in 2019

In 2019, horror fans have been spoiled with theatrical horror releases. But it feels like there’s been a bit of a shortage of good indie horror thus far. Though we’ve had a few stand-outs, it feels like there have been some long gaps between releases. Nightmare Cinema absolutely fills this void. In spite of a little unevenness, it’s a fun horror anthology with plenty of gore and striking imagery.

THE PROFESSOR’S FINAL GRADE: B+

The Howling: A Classic Update of Golden Age Horror

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From Twilight to True Blood, vampires enjoyed a brief renaissance several years ago. Zombies shuffled back into public consciousness in the early 2000’s and have refused to die. In spite of a long horror legacy, werewolves haven’t enjoyed the same career resurgence. But back in the early 1980’s, the werewolf was as big as it had been since Lon Chaney Jr’s The Wolf Man. To date, An American Werewolf in London remains the best werewolf movie of all time. It’s closely followed by Joe Dante’s brilliant, The Howling. Released several months before An American Werewolf in London, The Howling is a smart mix of horror and satire.

The Howling Still a Visually Impressive Monster Movie

When Universal Pictures released The Wolf Man in 1941, it featured more of Jack Pierce’s visionary make-up effects. Of course, Pierce was responsible for the appearances of several classic Universal Monsters. Not surprisingly then, Pierce’s ‘wolf man’ design instantly became iconic, a lasting pop culture image. For 40 years, The Wolf Man was the standard-bearer for cinematic werewolves. Then in 1981, special effect artists Rick Baker and Rob Bottin revolutionized the werewolf design and transformation scene. Though An American Werewolf London often overshadows The Howling, Bottin’s contribution can’t be overstated.

…Bottin’s approach to the werewolf design and transformation marked a significant departure for audiences.

Like An American Werewolf in London, The Howling deftly balances humor and horror. But make no mistake about it, Joe Dante’s werewolf movie doesn’t compromise on the horror. Bottin’s approach to the werewolf design and transformation marked a significant departure for audiences. Less man, more wolf, Bottin’s werewolves were humanoid renderings more sophisticated than anything previously committed to the screen. For Eddie Quist’s full transformation, Bottin passed on the traditional use of lap dissolves. Instead, Bottin used a combination of prosthetics with inflatable air bladders, animatronics, and clever editing. Though some of the effects haven’t aged well since its release, the overall impact of the werewolf transformation is still mesmerizing.

The Howling Is a Love Letter to Classic Horror

Director Joe Dante and screenwriter John Sayles clearly love classic cinema. Prior to The Howling, Dante and Sayles collaborated on B-movie creature classic, Piranha. Other Dante directorial efforts – Matinee, Innerspace, and Gremlins – have a certain drive-in flavour. Not surprisingly then, The Howling is littered with what we would now call ‘Easter eggs’ to golden age werewolf movies. For instance, several characters are named after directors of ‘golden age’ werewolf flicks.

But The Howling also joins An American Werewolf in London in distinguishing itself from past werewolf movies with its satirical approach to the material. Sayles’ self-referential humor anticipated the ‘meta’ take on horror that would later turn up in Wes Craven’s Scream. Additionally, The Howling works as a biting satire of the 1970’s cultural fixation on new age psychology and self-help movements. Patrick Macnee’s ‘Colony’ secretly serving as a commune for werewolves to learn to control their ‘inner beast’ and assimilate

The Howling Spawned One of Horror’s Strangest Franchises

Given the typically low budget nature of horror, it’s not surprising that studios would yearn for that brand recognition that comes with an ongoing series. It’s basically a license to print money. The 1980’s gave us the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street franchises, while the 90’s beget the Scream trilogy. In the first decade of the new millennium, we got the Saw and Paranormal Activity franchises. And then there’s the straight-to-video movie series that just won’t die. They’ve been making Hellraiser, Leprechaun, and Children of the Corn movies for years right under our noses.


The Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf is not just a terrible sequel, it may qualify as one of the worst movies made.

But The Howling franchise may be the strangest horror series. It’s not just the spotty quality of the sequels. By and large, horror sequels are content to recycle what previously worked until diminishing returns necessitate a reboot. None of The Howling sequels are good. The Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf is not just a terrible sequel, it may qualify as one of the worst movies made. And that’s with poor Christopher Lee in the cast. Aside from quality, most of the sequels are completely unrelated to the original. Tonally, the franchise is all over the map. The Howling III, for example, has marsupial werewolves in Australia. Later sequel, The Howling V: The Rebirth is basically an Agatha Christie “who-dunnit”. An then there’s The Howling VI: The Freaks,which finds werewolves and vampires battling it out in a carnival.

The Howling Remains Must-See Horror

In spite of its spotty franchise record, The Howling is a must-see horror classic. It marked yet another successful collaboration between Joe Dante and John Sayles. Along with An American Werewolf in London, The Howling also took horror special effects in a new, exciting direction. Fans of werewolf movies can’t go wrong with this vintage 80’s horror outing.

Don’t Go in the Water: Piranha

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It’s still officially the first week of spring so for this entry of our Re-Animated section we’ll continue with our trip through the EcoHorror subgenre. When Steven Spielberg introduced the world to Jaws he inadvertently spawned a series of rip-offs inspired by his “nature goes wild” theme. From a giant octopus in Tentacles to a man-eating bear in Grizzly, filmmakers rushed to cast in on audience interest in killer animals. Celebrated actors seemed to think they were all going to get roles in Jaw-quality films; John Huston and Shelly Winters both showed up for the awful Tentacles.

Fortunately, director Joe Dante and writer John Sayles had a sense of humour and saw some potential to riff on these B-movie ‘creature features’. Their horror satire, Piranha (1978), ingested a little fun into EcoHorror genre with their low-budget, bloody killer fish film. Three decades later French filmmaker Alexandre Aja tapped into the same spirit of Dante and Sayles with his own remake.

Piranha (1978) Was Inspired B-Film-Making

https://youtu.be/4_HeG90hytE

While a number of Jaws-influenced films hit theatres in the years following its release, Joe Dante’s Piranha (1978) is one of the few of these films that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Produced by legendary B-film auteur, Roger Corman, Piranha positions itself as more of a parody than outright horror. From its opening scene where two teens sneak into an abandoned military complex for late-evening skinny dip, you can see the open winks and nods to the famous opening in Jaws. Dante, who would later perfect his in-joke referencing with The Howling, litters Piranha with self-referential jokes for the keen observer. In one scene, a younger swimmer can be seen reading Moby Dick.

The man-eating fish are largely kept out of sight and while the few quick shots of the schools of piranha are admittedly cheesy it’s in fitting with the film’s overall tone.

Dante also capably handles the piranha scenes given the film’s low budget. The man-eating fish are largely kept out of sight and while the few quick shots of the schools of piranha are admittedly cheesy it’s in fitting with the film’s overall tone. In spite of the low budget, Dante sets up a few well-executed piranha scares including a boat rescue and a dwindling raft scene. The campground massacre is particularly well filmed with one camera shot of a counsellor sinking into the dark lake leaving a haunting impression. All the piranha attacks are accompanied by a hilarious whirring sound effect; it’s not quite John Williams’ familiar shark theme but further adds to Piranha’s cult-film credentials.

The blood and gore effects are also well above average for a low budget film. Younger audiences may find some fault with the effects but Piranha’s make-up effects largely hold up well. No one famous stars in the 1978 film; a few familiar character actors turn up but it’s a largely unrecognizable cast. Nonetheless, all the cast are game in Piranha and turn in fun performances that fit well with the film’s tongue-in-cheek sense of humour.

Piranha 3D (2010) Honours the B-Roots of its Predecessor

https://youtu.be/gRItQLjLP60

In the short history of this column, there have not been many instances where I have written enthusiastically about a remake. Piranha 3D (2010) is one of the rare cases were the remake capably honours the spirit of the original film while standing on its own as a bloody fun horror film. Directed by ‘New French Extremity’ filmmaker, Alexandre Aja ditches the original film’s Vietnam War-era commentary on military experimentation but keeps the eye-winking, self-deprecating humour.

In Aja’s remake, the piranha are a prehistoric breed of large man-eating fish that have been inadvertently released from a deep sea chasm following an earthquake. Like classic creature features of old, Aja slowly unveils his prehistoric monsters. The film’s opening, featuring a hilarious tongue-in-cheek cameo from Jaws alum Richard Dreyfus, gives the audience a preview of the awaiting mayhem. Dashing a few hints of his piranha in the early-going pays off with a fantastic deep sea reveal of the hordes of fish. The CGI-effects are admittedly spotty in many scenes but given the film’s stronger roots in horror-comedy as opposed to outright horror, the effects don’t detract much from enjoying Piranha 3D.

This Piranha remake scores a win with its balance of over-the-top gore and humour.

This Piranha remake scores a win with its balance of over-the-top gore and humour. The Spring Break beach massacre scene is an orgy of mangled flesh and dangling body parts that’s sure to satisfy the most ardent gorehounds. Of course all of this violence and mayhem is played for laughs. The sight of seeing Ving Rhames use a boat propellor to mow down dozens of piranha is one of the best images I can recall from a horror film in recent memory. Where Piranha 3D may lose some viewers is in its own excesses. Like many remakes, Aja’s Piranha 3D takes what worked so well with the original and opts to turn the dial up. The beach massacre scene is a pumped-up version of the original’s campground piranha attack. In addition, one character’s death, while fitting, does stoop to a literal ‘penis’ joke.

A good cast turns out for Aja’s B-movie including Adam Scott and Elizabeth Sue playing it wit straight-faces while Christoper Lloyd hams it up in a small role. Ving Rhames’ stoic presence is welcome in any film. However, the stand-out performance in Piranha 3D is easily Jerry O’Connell playing a sleazy “Girls Gone Wild” producer. OConnell is clearly having a blast in the role and his charisma is infectious whenever he is on screen.

A Fitting Double-Bill For Creature Feature Lovers

Overall, it’s hard not to give the nod to the original Piranha, which is an exercise in self-restraint compared to the remake. Younger audiences will likely prefer the remake given its quicker pacing; the original film has the more methodical pacing consistent with the time period. And there is certainly nothing wrong as the remake offers the kind of over-the-top horror fun reminiscent of films like Return of the Living Dead. But my nod still goes to the original for its more subtle riffing on Jaws.